1 00:00:00,120 --> 00:00:02,120 (singing) Well I tried to tell you so 2 00:00:02,640 --> 00:00:04,680 But I guess you didn't know 3 00:00:05,200 --> 00:00:07,160 As a sadder story goes 4 00:00:07,680 --> 00:00:09,600 Baby now I got the flow 5 00:00:10,240 --> 00:00:12,000 You lied to me 6 00:00:12,440 --> 00:00:14,960 All those times I said that I loved you 7 00:00:15,200 --> 00:00:17,240 You lied to me 8 00:00:17,520 --> 00:00:18,840 Yes I tried 9 00:00:19,080 --> 00:00:21,440 Return of the mac, it is 10 00:00:21,680 --> 00:00:23,960 Return of the mac, come on 11 00:00:24,200 --> 00:00:26,480 Return of the mac, once again 12 00:00:26,720 --> 00:00:31,280 Return of, here I go! 13 00:00:33,480 --> 00:00:34,960 Thank you, thank you. 14 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:37,800 We are gonna take a quick break and we'll be back in five. 15 00:00:38,040 --> 00:00:42,000 Oh, she's got a necklace on her shoulder 'cause she's not got a dress on. 16 00:00:42,880 --> 00:00:44,120 Not that you give a shit. 17 00:00:44,640 --> 00:00:47,400 Bunch of rude, self-centered party girls. 18 00:00:47,640 --> 00:00:49,560 The only thing they rate more than themselves is money. 19 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:51,240 You literally just described yourself. 20 00:00:51,520 --> 00:00:52,560 Swivel, pretty boy. 21 00:00:52,800 --> 00:00:55,560 Don't you just adore my little jazzington troupe? 22 00:00:55,800 --> 00:00:56,520 Do they dance? 23 00:00:56,760 --> 00:00:59,440 The tall, pretty boy does. Just for me. 24 00:01:01,120 --> 00:01:04,520 Here's ten pounds. Tell the gangly one I'll have a dance. 25 00:01:04,760 --> 00:01:06,840 Darling, be a sweetie? 26 00:01:09,880 --> 00:01:11,160 I beg your pardon, sir. 27 00:01:13,240 --> 00:01:14,280 What is this, Stringfellows? 28 00:01:14,560 --> 00:01:15,200 Dance! 29 00:01:15,840 --> 00:01:20,440 Dance! Dance! Dance! Dance! Dance! 30 00:01:21,120 --> 00:01:21,800 Kill me. 31 00:01:22,680 --> 00:01:23,120 Kill me now. 32 00:01:23,400 --> 00:01:24,120 - Boo! 33 00:01:34,960 --> 00:01:40,000 We are a jazz quartet in the golden era of jazz, and what are we doing? 34 00:01:40,240 --> 00:01:43,800 Oh, would you like a lap dance while I play my trumpet? 35 00:01:44,040 --> 00:01:45,600 Mate, chill, it was just jokes. 36 00:01:45,840 --> 00:01:47,560 Jazz is not jokes, alright? 37 00:01:47,800 --> 00:01:52,280 It's moody guys in smoky bars, deep in pain. 38 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:56,040 Playing because they need to, not for free rent and tiny eggs. 39 00:01:56,280 --> 00:01:58,720 Bruv, do you know what kind of egg this is? 40 00:01:59,080 --> 00:02:00,840 - It's a quail egg. - It's a quail egg. 41 00:02:01,240 --> 00:02:03,400 - I don't even know what a quail is. - It's a bird. 42 00:02:03,640 --> 00:02:04,720 - Is it a bird? - Yes. 43 00:02:04,960 --> 00:02:06,280 Maybe some kind of fish, or reptile? 44 00:02:06,560 --> 00:02:08,400 Like I said, it's a bird. 45 00:02:08,760 --> 00:02:09,440 I don't know. 46 00:02:09,680 --> 00:02:12,160 No one knows because they don't exist in our time. 47 00:02:12,440 --> 00:02:12,920 They do. 48 00:02:13,160 --> 00:02:15,400 How can you not love living like a prince, bruv? 49 00:02:15,640 --> 00:02:18,560 I never thought this moment would come, but I agree with Nick. 50 00:02:19,040 --> 00:02:19,480 Thank you! 51 00:02:19,720 --> 00:02:22,440 There's gotta be a way we can keep all this free shit and servants 52 00:02:22,680 --> 00:02:25,280 without having to play for that gaggle of rich skanks. 53 00:02:25,560 --> 00:02:27,160 Okay, that's really not what I said. 54 00:02:27,440 --> 00:02:31,040 Darlings! Ralph's sent a letter from the Algerian desert. 55 00:02:33,840 --> 00:02:36,560 'Dearest twin sister.' That's me. 56 00:02:36,840 --> 00:02:40,880 'I hate it here, I can't escape, I wish I were dead.' 57 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:45,800 Oh, that's it. Hardly worth the postage, silly sausage. 58 00:02:48,000 --> 00:02:51,480 Ah! For the love of his life, who broke his heart. 59 00:02:51,720 --> 00:02:54,120 Not my fault he overheard exactly what I thought of him. 60 00:02:54,440 --> 00:03:00,120 Do oo want to know what I think of oo, my little slice of pumpernickel? 61 00:03:00,640 --> 00:03:04,320 I think you're a darling little poochy-poo. 62 00:03:09,800 --> 00:03:11,200 Clever boy! 63 00:03:12,760 --> 00:03:14,960 No pooks, stay with your chums. 64 00:03:15,280 --> 00:03:19,120 Mummy's busy preparing a spandanglous Egyptian-themed party. 65 00:03:19,960 --> 00:03:23,440 You must come and play some of your yumptious jazz, jazz, jazz! 66 00:03:23,840 --> 00:03:26,000 Maybe we will, maybe we're busy. 67 00:03:26,240 --> 00:03:29,400 Sweetpea, I absolutely think you will play 68 00:03:29,960 --> 00:03:32,840 or I might rather wonder why you're here. 69 00:03:38,240 --> 00:03:39,480 'Darling Lauren.' 70 00:03:39,720 --> 00:03:41,400 Can we not go on this guilt trip right now, please? 71 00:03:41,640 --> 00:03:44,760 'I enclose a likeness to keep by your bedside.' 72 00:03:45,080 --> 00:03:46,600 'Life is short in the desert.' 73 00:03:46,840 --> 00:03:50,400 'I shall probably be trampled to death by a camel soon, 74 00:03:50,640 --> 00:03:53,120 so you may as well have all my money.' 75 00:03:54,120 --> 00:03:56,880 Shut up, what? Oh my God, how much is that? 76 00:03:59,280 --> 00:04:00,200 So that's- 77 00:04:00,880 --> 00:04:05,720 Money, money, money, money! 78 00:04:14,000 --> 00:04:14,920 Argh! Langley! 79 00:04:15,160 --> 00:04:16,200 Yes, sir. 80 00:04:17,840 --> 00:04:18,560 You okay? 81 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:19,680 Sir. 82 00:04:20,800 --> 00:04:21,400 Great. 83 00:04:22,800 --> 00:04:23,680 Great, great, great. 84 00:04:36,560 --> 00:04:37,840 I can take it from here. 85 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:46,800 You're still there, aren't you? 86 00:04:47,040 --> 00:04:50,800 - I thought sir might enjoy a glass of milk after his morning evacuation. 87 00:04:51,040 --> 00:04:53,440 Right, it's just that I find it a bit difficult to-, 88 00:04:55,440 --> 00:04:58,840 to drop the kids off while someone's listening. 89 00:04:59,440 --> 00:05:01,920 Not to worry, sir, I've heard it all before. 90 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:08,840 (humming) 91 00:05:09,520 --> 00:05:12,880 (singing) Return of the mac 92 00:05:13,480 --> 00:05:17,640 Girl, you lied to me 93 00:05:17,880 --> 00:05:18,960 Didn't know you read music. 94 00:05:19,200 --> 00:05:21,880 I'm terribly sorry, sir, I was dusting. I wasn't-, 95 00:05:22,120 --> 00:05:23,960 Oh, no, no, it's fine. 96 00:05:24,440 --> 00:05:26,800 Great voice, by the way. I know one when I hear it. 97 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:28,320 I'm a musician. 98 00:05:28,880 --> 00:05:29,960 I know, sir. 99 00:05:30,200 --> 00:05:31,840 So, like, what's your bag? 100 00:05:32,200 --> 00:05:34,760 Jazz? Classical? Drum and bass? 101 00:05:36,440 --> 00:05:38,000 That joke was more for me than you. 102 00:05:38,320 --> 00:05:39,160 Opera, sir. 103 00:05:39,440 --> 00:05:39,880 Opera! 104 00:05:40,120 --> 00:05:41,640 My mother loved to sing. 105 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:46,440 She sent me for lessons, dared to dream I might be a singer one day. 106 00:05:47,120 --> 00:05:48,640 What are we without dreams? 107 00:05:49,280 --> 00:05:51,720 - Erm-, - We're drones, Langley. 108 00:05:52,200 --> 00:05:55,480 'Every day you wait is another day you won't get back.' 109 00:05:55,720 --> 00:05:57,040 Do you know who said that? 110 00:05:57,640 --> 00:05:57,880 Sir? 111 00:05:58,120 --> 00:05:59,880 Gandhi, I think. 112 00:06:00,120 --> 00:06:01,000 I don't know, I read it on a meme. 113 00:06:01,240 --> 00:06:04,080 My point is that you and I are not so different. 114 00:06:04,320 --> 00:06:06,720 Two men, one dream. 115 00:06:09,440 --> 00:06:10,240 You know what? 116 00:06:11,600 --> 00:06:13,120 I'm gonna have a word with Victoria. 117 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:17,320 Just explain that you've got this talent and you just need an opportunity to shine. 118 00:06:17,600 --> 00:06:18,280 No, thank you, sir. 119 00:06:18,560 --> 00:06:20,280 No, no, I will. I'll talk to her. 120 00:06:20,560 --> 00:06:23,040 - If it's all the same, I'd rather-, - Langley, I insist. 121 00:06:23,280 --> 00:06:24,480 It's the least I can do. 122 00:06:24,720 --> 00:06:25,680 No! 123 00:06:27,240 --> 00:06:28,280 I said no, sir. 124 00:06:52,800 --> 00:06:55,280 Wow, Lauren, you look strong. 125 00:06:55,560 --> 00:06:56,240 Thanks. 126 00:06:57,080 --> 00:06:59,280 I am loving how much you're hating this. 127 00:06:59,560 --> 00:07:00,520 Oh yeah, that's it. 128 00:07:00,760 --> 00:07:03,880 Pick on me, and overlook the grown man dressed in a leather nappy. 129 00:07:06,280 --> 00:07:09,960 I've been telling the girls how teeth-shatteringly strong you are. 130 00:07:10,280 --> 00:07:12,760 I'm no stranger to a Virgin Active. 131 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,840 I told you, he's all muscle. Everywhere! 132 00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:19,160 You must pass him on when you're finished. 133 00:07:22,720 --> 00:07:23,400 Alright? 134 00:07:25,360 --> 00:07:25,480 What? 135 00:07:25,920 --> 00:07:26,640 No, nothing. 136 00:07:27,480 --> 00:07:29,400 If you're happy being her performing poodle. 137 00:07:41,080 --> 00:07:41,680 Look at them. 138 00:07:44,960 --> 00:07:46,840 They're laughing at us. You know that, right? 139 00:07:47,080 --> 00:07:49,760 No, no, they're laughing because every time Langley turns away, 140 00:07:50,000 --> 00:07:52,040 they throw a grape at him and then he looks back, 141 00:07:52,280 --> 00:07:53,640 pretending he didn't know who did it. 142 00:07:53,880 --> 00:07:55,240 It's actually quite funny. 143 00:07:55,520 --> 00:07:56,840 They're bitches, Horace. 144 00:07:57,480 --> 00:07:59,240 That's what comes of being born into money. 145 00:07:59,520 --> 00:08:01,880 They look down on people like us because we use buses 146 00:08:02,120 --> 00:08:04,800 and think that Wall's Viennetta is a luxury dessert. 147 00:08:05,040 --> 00:08:06,120 It is a luxury dessert. 148 00:08:06,800 --> 00:08:07,440 I know, right? 149 00:08:10,720 --> 00:08:11,240 Hold that. 150 00:08:13,840 --> 00:08:14,280 You alright? 151 00:08:14,560 --> 00:08:16,600 Oh, Laurentia! 152 00:08:16,840 --> 00:08:18,800 Woof woof! Ow ow owww! 153 00:08:19,040 --> 00:08:19,960 (laughter) 154 00:08:21,600 --> 00:08:22,560 Yeah, laugh it up. 155 00:08:22,800 --> 00:08:26,240 We'll see who's laughing when the Blitz happens and your houses are bombed to shit. 156 00:08:29,400 --> 00:08:31,400 Oh, isn't she too much? 157 00:08:31,680 --> 00:08:35,280 Oh dearheart, I would invite you to join but we're playing Monte Carlo stakes. 158 00:08:35,560 --> 00:08:38,040 50 guinea minimum, no cheques, chits, kidneys or IOUs. 159 00:08:38,280 --> 00:08:39,560 Well, that's me out, then. 160 00:08:39,800 --> 00:08:43,200 I guess I'll just shuffle back to my slum and eat a potato. 161 00:08:43,480 --> 00:08:45,920 Oh, wait, wait! 162 00:08:46,480 --> 00:08:47,840 Who're these guys? 163 00:08:48,680 --> 00:08:49,320 Hello! 164 00:08:49,600 --> 00:08:50,800 Why didn't you say you were rich? 165 00:08:51,040 --> 00:08:53,040 We could have been friends this whole time! 166 00:08:53,280 --> 00:08:54,120 Hooray! 167 00:08:54,680 --> 00:08:56,200 Place your bets, ladies. 168 00:08:56,480 --> 00:08:57,320 Faites vos jeux. 169 00:08:57,600 --> 00:08:58,040 - Ready! 170 00:09:00,040 --> 00:09:02,720 Rien ne va plus, no further bets. 171 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:05,040 Black ten. 172 00:09:05,280 --> 00:09:06,120 You're shitting me! 173 00:09:07,400 --> 00:09:08,320 Oh my God! 174 00:09:09,560 --> 00:09:10,600 Oh my God! 175 00:09:10,840 --> 00:09:12,000 High five, bitches! 176 00:09:13,040 --> 00:09:14,320 Just put your hand up. 177 00:09:16,560 --> 00:09:17,240 High five! 178 00:09:17,840 --> 00:09:19,800 Let's be best of friends forever! 179 00:09:22,120 --> 00:09:23,000 Yeah, yeah! 180 00:09:29,040 --> 00:09:30,320 What we doing here, Horace? 181 00:09:30,960 --> 00:09:32,880 I mean, is this it? 182 00:09:33,840 --> 00:09:37,240 Oh, you horror! You spewed on my shoe! 183 00:09:37,720 --> 00:09:39,160 Langers, get it off. 184 00:09:39,440 --> 00:09:40,840 I can feel it seeping in. 185 00:09:41,080 --> 00:09:42,640 Hurry, you clumsy booby. 186 00:09:42,960 --> 00:09:43,880 Oh, for goodness' sake. 187 00:09:44,120 --> 00:09:46,320 Oi! Do you wanna have some respect? 188 00:09:46,640 --> 00:09:47,840 Is it talking to me? 189 00:09:48,280 --> 00:09:49,960 Do you think this guy's got nothing better going on 190 00:09:50,200 --> 00:09:51,680 than cleaning up after a bunch of inbreds? 191 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:53,280 Well, no. 192 00:09:53,560 --> 00:09:56,120 Right. Well, FYI, Langley could have been a singer. 193 00:09:56,680 --> 00:09:57,480 Who's a singer? 194 00:09:57,720 --> 00:09:58,640 Ol' Lang Lang. 195 00:09:59,600 --> 00:10:01,480 Silly, darling. He's my butler. 196 00:10:01,720 --> 00:10:03,240 What if he's not just a butler? 197 00:10:04,480 --> 00:10:05,640 What if he's got dreams? 198 00:10:05,880 --> 00:10:09,880 And in those dreams he's singing opera, like a phantom? 199 00:10:10,320 --> 00:10:11,680 But how wonderful! 200 00:10:11,920 --> 00:10:13,600 Langley, sing for us! 201 00:10:13,840 --> 00:10:16,120 Shut the music off, Langley's going to sing. 202 00:10:16,400 --> 00:10:17,800 M'lady, I couldn't possibly. 203 00:10:18,040 --> 00:10:20,840 Sing this minute or I shall have you mummified! 204 00:10:21,080 --> 00:10:23,720 - I-, - Don't be afraid, Langley, you got this. 205 00:10:23,960 --> 00:10:25,600 Show these people that you're more than just a skivvy. 206 00:10:25,840 --> 00:10:27,680 Yes, Langley, sing! 207 00:10:28,480 --> 00:10:29,480 Sing! Sing! 208 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:32,640 Sing! Sing! Sing! 209 00:10:33,040 --> 00:10:36,320 - Please, m'lady, I- - Sing! Sing! Sing! 210 00:10:38,960 --> 00:10:46,120 (singing) Ave Maria 211 00:10:46,680 --> 00:10:55,960 Maria Gratia plena 212 00:10:56,400 --> 00:11:05,280 Maria Gratia plena 213 00:11:05,840 --> 00:11:11,200 Ave dominus 214 00:11:12,200 --> 00:11:17,680 Dominus tecum 215 00:11:21,280 --> 00:11:24,720 (applause) 216 00:11:25,440 --> 00:11:28,280 Langley, I had no idea. 217 00:11:28,560 --> 00:11:30,560 Twas but a dream, m'lady. 218 00:11:30,800 --> 00:11:33,520 Well, then we shall make it a reality! 219 00:11:33,960 --> 00:11:36,440 You are herewith relieved of your duties forthwith. 220 00:11:36,680 --> 00:11:37,760 M'lady, please, I-, 221 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:40,560 Hands up who thinks Langley should become a famous singer? 222 00:11:41,040 --> 00:11:43,600 Good luck, dear, dear Langley. 223 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:46,560 I hear it's almost impossible to succeed in music. 224 00:11:47,160 --> 00:11:48,560 Speaking of which, 225 00:11:49,480 --> 00:11:50,560 play for us! 226 00:11:54,560 --> 00:11:55,600 I'm not your poodle. 227 00:11:55,840 --> 00:11:57,480 - Ohhh! 228 00:12:01,840 --> 00:12:03,160 God, he's so brave. 229 00:12:03,640 --> 00:12:06,240 Imagine giving up everything to fulfill your dreams. 230 00:12:06,560 --> 00:12:08,280 Especially with seven kids to support. 231 00:12:08,840 --> 00:12:10,200 That man's a hero. 232 00:12:19,440 --> 00:12:20,320 Hey, Jase. 233 00:12:20,880 --> 00:12:22,080 Good to see you wearing some clothes. 234 00:12:22,320 --> 00:12:24,280 Do you mind? I'm trying to read this-, 235 00:12:24,560 --> 00:12:24,960 Book? 236 00:12:25,560 --> 00:12:26,400 Yeah, I know. 237 00:12:27,040 --> 00:12:28,120 Are those my spare glasses? 238 00:12:28,400 --> 00:12:29,040 No. 239 00:12:30,880 --> 00:12:35,760 Yes, I'm trying to look less attractive so Victoria doesn't just want me for my body. 240 00:12:36,000 --> 00:12:37,200 Ah, good for you, mate. 241 00:12:37,600 --> 00:12:40,080 She'll definitely treat you with more respect when she sees this. 242 00:12:40,320 --> 00:12:41,400 It's only, erm-, 243 00:12:44,560 --> 00:12:46,280 - Oh, is it? - Yeah. 244 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:48,680 - Thanks, bruv. - Hey, no worries. 245 00:12:49,160 --> 00:12:51,840 When you're done with those, can you pop the lenses back in, yeah? 246 00:12:52,560 --> 00:12:53,080 Cheers. 247 00:13:00,000 --> 00:13:00,760 Bored! 248 00:13:01,280 --> 00:13:03,000 Who wants to go to Harrods and buy a lion? 249 00:13:03,240 --> 00:13:04,720 Me, me, me! 250 00:13:07,680 --> 00:13:09,040 Oh, hey Nickers. 251 00:13:09,680 --> 00:13:10,840 Want anything picking up from Harrods? 252 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:12,720 No, I'm good, thanks. 253 00:13:13,240 --> 00:13:15,120 But see if you can pick up some self-respect. 254 00:13:15,400 --> 00:13:15,640 What? 255 00:13:15,840 --> 00:13:17,880 I see you're one of the rich bitches now. 256 00:13:18,120 --> 00:13:19,760 I'd rather you not call them that. 257 00:13:20,000 --> 00:13:22,640 They're actually so darling once you get to know them. 258 00:13:29,560 --> 00:13:30,280 Damn. 259 00:13:30,880 --> 00:13:31,840 Argh! 260 00:13:32,400 --> 00:13:32,920 Horace. 261 00:13:33,160 --> 00:13:34,200 Wait, how did you-, 262 00:13:37,080 --> 00:13:37,920 Are you okay? 263 00:13:38,280 --> 00:13:39,000 Yes, sir. 264 00:13:40,040 --> 00:13:40,560 Cool. 265 00:13:40,840 --> 00:13:42,560 Wait, why are you calling me sir? 266 00:13:42,960 --> 00:13:43,440 Sir? 267 00:13:45,840 --> 00:13:46,320 Okay. 268 00:13:47,560 --> 00:13:49,640 I need some quiet toilet time, but when I'm done, 269 00:13:49,840 --> 00:13:52,600 we all need to sit down and take a good look at ourselves, especially you. 270 00:13:52,840 --> 00:13:55,600 Because, I mean, this is all wrong. 271 00:13:56,000 --> 00:13:57,000 Very good, sir. 272 00:13:59,600 --> 00:14:01,880 Oh, erm, do you know where I can find-, 273 00:14:07,680 --> 00:14:08,280 Thank you. 274 00:14:14,800 --> 00:14:19,160 (groaning) 275 00:14:28,560 --> 00:14:30,480 Good morning, 'sir'. 276 00:14:31,840 --> 00:14:32,680 Hey! 277 00:14:32,960 --> 00:14:34,760 Langley, it's you! 278 00:14:35,000 --> 00:14:37,400 I thought it was pigeons. 279 00:14:38,640 --> 00:14:42,120 So, all set? Ready to seize the day? 280 00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:46,040 They're my children. Their mother died last year. 281 00:14:47,280 --> 00:14:47,840 Course. 282 00:14:48,640 --> 00:14:53,880 Well, maybe you can use the grief to channel into your music. 283 00:14:54,120 --> 00:14:56,760 Ah, is that my phone? I'm gonna-, 284 00:14:58,200 --> 00:15:01,080 Goodbye, empty pointless life. 285 00:15:02,640 --> 00:15:04,800 Whoa, whoa, whoa! What you doing? 286 00:15:05,040 --> 00:15:06,160 I've lost everything. 287 00:15:06,440 --> 00:15:07,640 Not everything! 288 00:15:07,840 --> 00:15:09,400 Alright, you've still got your kids! 289 00:15:09,640 --> 00:15:12,120 They can chip in, sweep some chimneys and that. 290 00:15:12,400 --> 00:15:14,120 I mean, not the ones in wheelchairs. 291 00:15:16,120 --> 00:15:17,240 They're all in wheelchairs. 292 00:15:17,800 --> 00:15:19,640 You've ruined my life! 293 00:15:19,880 --> 00:15:22,520 Er, sorry, can you not shout at me? I'm the one supporting your dreams. 294 00:15:22,760 --> 00:15:24,560 (yelling) 295 00:15:25,440 --> 00:15:28,120 Shit! Okay, if you love being a skivvy so much, 296 00:15:28,400 --> 00:15:30,600 maybe we can ask Victoria for your job back. 297 00:15:30,840 --> 00:15:31,400 Really? 298 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,680 Well, apparently it's all my fault, so yes. 299 00:15:36,320 --> 00:15:38,120 Maybe put some pants on first, yeah? 300 00:15:40,880 --> 00:15:42,640 Aren't they just too much? 301 00:15:42,880 --> 00:15:46,480 That's real pearls and real ermine trim. 302 00:15:46,720 --> 00:15:49,880 Unbearable! Were they pocket-wrenchingly expensive? 303 00:15:50,120 --> 00:15:52,120 Darling, friendship is priceless. 304 00:15:53,160 --> 00:15:55,600 What are 'rich birches'? 305 00:15:55,840 --> 00:15:56,800 Bitches. 306 00:15:58,120 --> 00:15:58,840 Wait, what? 307 00:15:59,600 --> 00:16:02,440 That's supposed to be a T, man. They've spelt bitches wrong! 308 00:16:04,480 --> 00:16:05,560 Burn 'em, Cunningham. 309 00:16:05,800 --> 00:16:06,000 Miss? 310 00:16:06,240 --> 00:16:07,600 I'll send to Japan for more. 311 00:16:07,840 --> 00:16:09,880 Oh, you are awful! 312 00:16:10,400 --> 00:16:11,720 Didn't I tell you she's awful? 313 00:16:12,120 --> 00:16:14,560 Awful! I can hardly bear her. 314 00:16:15,680 --> 00:16:18,240 Here it is. Finally come to give me my dance? 315 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:21,200 I've come about Langley. 316 00:16:21,560 --> 00:16:22,040 Who? 317 00:16:23,200 --> 00:16:25,680 Oh, him. Is he a star yet? 318 00:16:25,920 --> 00:16:26,880 Since yesterday? 319 00:16:27,960 --> 00:16:29,240 No, no, he's not. 320 00:16:29,520 --> 00:16:31,720 So I was wondering if you could give him his job back? 321 00:16:31,960 --> 00:16:32,920 I don't need a butler, 322 00:16:33,160 --> 00:16:37,400 and if I did need a butler, I'd hardly want one that widdles on the floor. 323 00:16:37,920 --> 00:16:39,920 Lang Lang dear, try not to hit the Persian. 324 00:16:44,760 --> 00:16:46,440 - Cunningham? - On it, m'lady. 325 00:16:50,560 --> 00:16:51,160 Sir. 326 00:16:52,400 --> 00:16:53,000 Sir? 327 00:16:53,880 --> 00:16:54,480 Sir. 328 00:16:57,800 --> 00:16:58,440 Sir. 329 00:17:00,760 --> 00:17:01,560 We tried. 330 00:17:02,120 --> 00:17:03,280 Now, I don't want to point fingers, 331 00:17:03,560 --> 00:17:06,800 but I think we may have lost her when one of us started pissing on the carpet. 332 00:17:07,080 --> 00:17:08,640 This is my job. 333 00:17:09,040 --> 00:17:10,400 Listen, Langley. 334 00:17:10,640 --> 00:17:11,760 It's not gonna be easy out there. 335 00:17:12,000 --> 00:17:14,760 And I know it feels like I don't know you because I don't know your first name. 336 00:17:15,120 --> 00:17:16,120 - Albert. - Hi, Nick. 337 00:17:16,400 --> 00:17:20,840 But what I do know is that you're an incredible musician, just like me. 338 00:17:21,400 --> 00:17:26,000 And when people knock us down we get back up, because there's a flame that burns within us 339 00:17:26,240 --> 00:17:29,800 and the hungrier we are, the brighter it burns, and-, 340 00:17:30,040 --> 00:17:31,880 You're still pissing a little bit, aren't you? 341 00:17:32,120 --> 00:17:33,040 Come with me! 342 00:17:33,280 --> 00:17:35,600 Let's burn to the top together! 343 00:17:35,840 --> 00:17:36,600 Go with him, Nick. 344 00:17:36,840 --> 00:17:39,800 It's different, though, isn't it, because I've got my band to think about. 345 00:17:40,120 --> 00:17:43,000 But best of luck to you, yeah? 346 00:17:44,120 --> 00:17:45,280 I believe in you. 347 00:17:50,000 --> 00:17:50,880 There you go. 348 00:17:53,840 --> 00:17:54,400 Aw. 349 00:17:54,680 --> 00:17:55,960 Langley'll be alright, right? 350 00:17:56,840 --> 00:17:57,840 No, you fucked him. 351 00:18:08,320 --> 00:18:08,760 Good evening. 352 00:18:09,000 --> 00:18:11,800 Baby bear, what are you wearing? 353 00:18:12,040 --> 00:18:13,320 Take it all off at once. 354 00:18:13,600 --> 00:18:15,280 Off, off, off, off! 355 00:18:15,560 --> 00:18:16,120 No. 356 00:18:17,640 --> 00:18:18,280 Oooh! 357 00:18:18,560 --> 00:18:20,280 Isn't he just too much? 358 00:18:20,560 --> 00:18:24,000 Now, I've been telling Ernestine what a tongue-tinglingly good kisser you are. 359 00:18:24,240 --> 00:18:27,720 Okay, that's just it, because I know how to do other things, not just with my body. 360 00:18:28,640 --> 00:18:29,480 Like what? 361 00:18:30,640 --> 00:18:32,280 Like count backwards from twenty. 362 00:18:32,560 --> 00:18:33,400 Go on then. 363 00:18:34,840 --> 00:18:35,600 Twenty. 364 00:18:37,160 --> 00:18:38,200 - Yeah? - Don't rush me. 365 00:18:38,480 --> 00:18:40,640 Darling, Ernestine has her mouth open. 366 00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:43,000 Why don't you just show her what a good kisser you are? 367 00:18:43,240 --> 00:18:45,040 - Nineteen. - Jason, stop, this is painful. 368 00:18:45,280 --> 00:18:46,640 Look, I'm not your exotic parrot! 369 00:18:46,880 --> 00:18:48,560 I'm a full man, I've got bare stuff going on. 370 00:18:48,800 --> 00:18:51,000 You just wanna show me off because I'm black and sexy as fuck. 371 00:18:51,240 --> 00:18:53,560 Oh no, my poppeteen. 372 00:18:54,000 --> 00:18:55,640 I treat all my boys like this, don't I? 373 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:56,640 She does. 374 00:18:56,880 --> 00:19:00,440 Though you are by far the most delicious of her lapdogs. 375 00:19:00,960 --> 00:19:02,760 What, you're saying you make all your men dress up as slaves? 376 00:19:03,000 --> 00:19:09,480 Darlington, I would far prefer that you treat me like your naughty, naughty slave 377 00:19:09,880 --> 00:19:12,400 but I didn't think that was your sort of thing. 378 00:19:13,040 --> 00:19:14,480 That could be my sort of thing. 379 00:19:14,880 --> 00:19:16,200 Do you want it to be my sort of thing? 380 00:19:19,240 --> 00:19:20,440 Excuse us, ladies. 381 00:19:22,200 --> 00:19:23,680 The safe word is 'jambalaya'. 382 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:25,920 - Eighteen. - Very good! 383 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:29,960 Now, who wants a seriously high-stakes game of snap? 384 00:19:30,320 --> 00:19:30,960 Me! 385 00:19:31,200 --> 00:19:33,800 Count me in, only I'm clean out of cash so I'll have to owe you. 386 00:19:34,040 --> 00:19:34,680 Oh! 387 00:19:35,160 --> 00:19:36,640 Really, darling? Not a sou? 388 00:19:36,880 --> 00:19:37,320 No. 389 00:19:37,600 --> 00:19:38,200 Oh. 390 00:19:39,200 --> 00:19:40,640 What? Is that it? 391 00:19:41,120 --> 00:19:43,600 - I thought we were friends. - Monte Carlo stakes, miss. 392 00:19:44,720 --> 00:19:46,120 Rich bitch motherfu- 393 00:19:49,280 --> 00:19:51,920 (singing) Let me tell you about my brown-eyed girl 394 00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:55,120 Let me tell you 'bout my brown-eyed girl 395 00:19:56,000 --> 00:19:57,800 So she's about yay high 396 00:19:58,040 --> 00:19:59,280 With African curls 397 00:19:59,560 --> 00:20:01,480 Let me tell you 'bout my brown-eyed girl. 398 00:20:01,720 --> 00:20:02,280 Tell 'em, boys 399 00:20:02,560 --> 00:20:05,720 Well if I ever knew about my girl-, 400 00:20:06,040 --> 00:20:06,880 Cunningham! 401 00:20:08,800 --> 00:20:09,720 You're singing! 402 00:20:10,400 --> 00:20:11,920 Twas but a dream, m'lady. 403 00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:15,160 Well, I am as cursed as a mummy. 404 00:20:15,640 --> 00:20:19,960 Why oh why must all my butlers be so fabulously talented? 405 00:20:20,680 --> 00:20:22,280 No more butlers for me. 406 00:20:23,080 --> 00:20:24,080 (plate smashes) 407 00:20:26,200 --> 00:20:26,960 You're fired. 408 00:20:27,840 --> 00:20:28,960 (doorbell rings) 409 00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:30,560 Hey, hey, no. 410 00:20:31,280 --> 00:20:31,960 She's right. 411 00:20:32,480 --> 00:20:33,680 You're better than this. 412 00:20:34,120 --> 00:20:35,600 Someone else will get the door. 413 00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:39,520 Really? 414 00:20:42,320 --> 00:20:43,160 Hey! 415 00:20:44,120 --> 00:20:45,000 Langley, right? 416 00:20:45,240 --> 00:20:46,760 Mr Wolton, sir. 417 00:20:47,000 --> 00:20:49,400 I shan't be long, my car's waiting. 418 00:20:49,800 --> 00:20:52,120 But I just had to come by to say thank you. 419 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:53,720 For what? 420 00:20:53,960 --> 00:20:56,280 For teaching me to reach for the stars. 421 00:20:56,560 --> 00:20:57,440 You were right. 422 00:20:57,840 --> 00:21:02,000 You have to hit rock bottom before you can soar to the dizzying heights of fame. 423 00:21:02,240 --> 00:21:04,280 'Course, three of my children did starve to death, 424 00:21:04,560 --> 00:21:07,800 but I'm a singer now, people love my voice! 425 00:21:08,840 --> 00:21:09,440 Great. 426 00:21:10,000 --> 00:21:12,000 Guys, Langley's a star. 427 00:21:12,320 --> 00:21:14,000 Hey Lang Lang, congrats. 428 00:21:14,240 --> 00:21:17,400 To think I might have wasted my talent in this house, 429 00:21:18,120 --> 00:21:21,240 the flame dying a little inside every day. 430 00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:23,560 Yeah, to think. 431 00:21:24,320 --> 00:21:27,080 So what is it, like, pub gigs? 432 00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,160 Passing around a pint pot for tips? 433 00:21:30,440 --> 00:21:32,400 Ha ha! Funny. 434 00:21:33,080 --> 00:21:37,880 No, I'm headlining the concert halls of Europe, the Colonies and North America. 435 00:21:38,560 --> 00:21:39,400 (car horn sounds) 436 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:41,400 Oh, must dash. 437 00:21:41,960 --> 00:21:45,840 When I come back, I should love you all to come and see one of my shows. 438 00:21:46,640 --> 00:21:49,680 You are my inspiration, after all. 439 00:21:50,560 --> 00:21:52,800 Goodbye and thanks again, Nick! 440 00:21:54,120 --> 00:21:54,680 Sure. 441 00:21:57,840 --> 00:21:58,720 Seventeen.